Play 11


D: Both of these products clean, of course, but…
C: Cut…
D: …do YOU know what makes…
C: Cut! CUT!
D: …our product…
C: You DO know what CUT means, right!?
D: Uh, like scissors?
C: Exasperated Just stick to the script and let’s try again.
D: But I did this time, I’m sure of it.
E: To self Here they go again.
C: Using air quotations where indicated No, you didn’t. You said ‘of course’ when there is clearly no ‘of course’ in the script.
D: But it’s…
C: And your emphasis on ‘you’? We don’t want to actually…
D: …just two words what’s…
C: …make people think about the question.
D:…the big deal?
C: Everyone knows these are both the same product. And what’s the big deal? Two words? Are you kidding me?
E: Almost warmed up now.
D: Um, no? I guess I’m not kidding?
C: Look, it takes most people less than a second to say two words like ‘of course’.
D: Uh-huh…
E: Of course.
C: It takes you more like one and a half seconds.
D: One and a half? So wha…
C: So what? So what? We pay by the second here. That one and a half seconds will cost me an extra ten thousand dollars! Geez.
E: Uh more like 5k but let’s not get hung up on details.
D: Wait, what am I getting paid for this?
C: More than you’re worth for sure.
D: Fine then how SHOULD I say it?
C: Say it like you mean it. Have you ever done any dishes before? Had a hard time getting stuff off them? Come on now, reach deep into your life! Give me some feeling!
D: … no, so no too.
C: What?
D: No, I have never done any dishes so I’ve never had a hard time getting stuff off them.
E: This is going to take forever. To C Alright, why don’t you show him what you mean?
C: Fine. I’ll earn my money today. To D Reach into the depths of that mind of yours and pull up some semblance of feeling about something. Have anything in mind?
D: When my mother died it was… it was very hard for me.
C: Well there you go! That’s something! I was thinking of something more along the lines of overcoming some challenge with help. And triumphantness afterwards.
E: Not a word.
C: Shut it. So what do you say? Anything like that? Maybe cheating your way through the third grade?
E: We’ll never get out of here like this. Come on!
C: Alright. Just do it just like I do.
D: I can do that!
C: It’s important that you do this exactly the same. We want it to perfectly follow the image and force that I present.
D: Okay.
C: No errors will be tolerated, understand?
E: I am going to be here forever.
C: ‘Why CLEAN when you can PURIFY?’!


Composed November 26, 2013.

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